March 6, 2011
Dear Gagie,
This weekend Dad and I went to a pretty Bed and Breakfast in McMinnville, OR. It was beautiful and the perfect birthday gift for me from your Dad. The house was high up on this hill with a really long driveway. We were given a special room with a balcony and it looked out over the valley. I loved having all the views and space around us ... I felt like I could breath. I also felt like we were up in the clouds like you in heaven. It was so quiet except for the “peeper frogs” in a small pond on the property. The beauty of nature always makes my heart feel good. Since you made your journey to heaven, my heart felt sad. But, just like your smile ... it made me feel good. At night the stars were beautiful and bright. It was cold so we couldn’t stay outside too long, but I looked up and wondered if you were up in the stars.
What is space? Have figured that out? Are black holes really a way for spirits to travel to heaven? Is your spirit a supernova or does it have as much energy as a supernova? I wouldn’t be surprised it it was. I bet you just shot out of your body when you realized you were free!
I find myself saying or thinking “Gage would really like that” or “Gage would order that calamari from this menu”. I think you would have liked the food from the tapas menu at the restaurant we went to on Sat. night.
Barbara and Scott put together a wonderful slide show for your service. It actually made me smile and not cry. Why is that? Maybe because it is the celebration of you life with lots of pictures of your smiles ... and you know how much I love your smile.
I sleep with your Hobbs and your blankie. Your blankie is starting to lose your smell but it still gives me something to hold when I can’t hold your hand or to cuddle with Hobbs when I can’t cuddle with you.
Come to my dreams buddy. I so wish to see you running, laughing and playing.
Good night sweet boy. I miss you so much! I love you, Mommy
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